What is the Conquering Life Programme?

People often ask us if the Conquering Life Programme is therapy, or like CBT, NLP, or mindfulness?

What essentially separates our Conquering Life Programme from other interventions such as NLP, and to some extent, CBT is that they have a patchy success record.  I think NLP is a bit like the American West of yesteryear: it has a few gold nuggets but too many cowboys.  These other alphabet soup techniques often have little if any science behind them, rarely if ever have lasting benefits, and they succeed only if the practitioner is particularly good.  They may often involve numerous sessions, and can be quite expensive – especially for elite practitioners. 

Good mental health is something to which almost everyone aspires, particularly if it’s linked to a holistic mens sana in corpore sano – a healthy mind in a healthy body.  It’s understandable if people are reluctant to pursue “psychological interventions” if that suggests a stigma with mental health issues. But how about sophrosyne? 

The very concept of “therapy” assumes the client is somehow ‘broken’ and in need of putting back together. However, the Conquering Life Programme doesn’t use a ‘medical’ assumption. Finding it hard to cope, eradicating stress, anxiety, phobias, and overthinking, and seeking a better quality of life doesn’t mean you are ill: you don’t have a debilitating condition that needs to be treated by a medical professional. And more importantly, you’re not ‘outsourcing’ a cure to someone else.

The Conquering Life Programme is a multi-stage training programme that effectively helps you to challenge some of the more deeply “in-grained” thought patterns. Everything in the programme is fully backed up by clinical experience and scientific research. The key elements are:

  • What makes you ‘tick’: your personality type and specific ‘thinking styles’, and what – if any – of the three primary limiting beliefs you may have.
  • How much power you have to make changes in your life: how much ‘self-efficacy’ do you have, how much belief do you have in you own skills and resources, how internal is your locus of control.
  • How the way you think, feel and react to situations has a profound effect upon how you experience life, and how you perceive external influences such as fate, luck, superstitions, and chance.
  • The nature of anxiety, stress, fears and phobias – how they are created and how I help you get rid of them. The link between thinking, emotions, feelings and behaviour, and their effect on your immune system, and physical health and wellbeing.

You may well be amazed just how quickly lasting change starts to appear. Learning what you can control and what you can’t will eradicate a great deal of anxiety and worry. Your self-esteem will be rapidly enhanced, and if social anxiety is a problem, that will quickly diminish.

One of the major benefits is acquiring a deep, holistic understanding of how our mind and bodies interact, and how these insights and awareness not only contribute to a healthier you, but also enable you to overcome fearlessly just about any situation and conquer every aspect in your life -fearlessly and confidently.

You will very quickly appreciate how different this programme is to any other, and why this one works while others invariably fail.

Our clients develop genuinely empowering insights. Changes to the way we think invariably provide deeply empowering insights; and it is this awareness and understanding that enable clients to develop the skills and resources they need to bring about changes that serve them better.

And if it seems we go past the initial problem – phobias or depression, anxiety, worry or stress – yes indeed! The aim is to get you flourishing, and clients find the worrying issues that brought them here just seem to disappear. The Conquering Life Programme literally sets you up for life.

All the principles, assignments and exercises are firmly underpinned by empirically published psychological research; I like to keep abreast of the latest developments and you can see a selection of these here.

If you would like to hear from those who have already benefited, do check out the video testimonials from many of the clients that have already learned how to conquer life.

HOW CAN I HELP?

Do get in touch to discuss how I can help you through a free no-obligation 30-minute consultation.  UK: +44 (0)  7597 232000   Ireland: +353 (0) 8385 88283

I use Skype, Facetime and VSee so I can deliver sessions world-wide.

 

What do you think about mental health?

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Do you Overthink? Think about rumination…

Can you control your thoughts? Or do your thoughts control you? If you are hamstrung by a mind that is always on steroids, you might find some thoughts helpful.

I really don’t think we think very much about the way we think. Thoughts pop unbidden into our heads and we often tend just to accept them as being somehow “real”. Which is fine if we’re feeling great and on top of the proverbial world. But if our mind seems bound up with anxiety, worry, regret and angst, it’s time to think about … thinking.

It often starts with a trigger that starts you worrying. Then you worry so much that you can’t stop worrying. So you get annoyed with yourself and you get angry that you worry and can’t stop worrying. The racing mind goes into overdrive. One thought blurs into another, and another. And the fact that you can’t stop … worries you. And that’s the definition of anxiety.

Worrisome thoughts — endlessly playing in your head. They often seem to have a mind of their own, and our thinking turns into a vicious circle. We all worry, but women sometimes seem more prone to overthinking.

Someone may tell us that no amount of anxiety is EVER going to make any difference to anything that IS actually going to happen. Or not happen. So don’t worry! But the worry persists. So you continue to ….keep thinking about it.

So how do you stop?

You have to let go. “Easier said than done!” I hear you say. But perhaps it’s easier than you think. First, have a think about this.

The moment we are thinking, we become separate from what we are thinking about. Which is the conclusion drawn by the philosopher Descartes: “I think therefore I am.” He said that if he could reject each and every idea that could possibly be rejected, what he would always be left with is that he was a person who is doing the thinking. So Cogito ergo sum was coined (but his actual words (translated) were somewhat inelegant, but true none the less: “If I am thinking then I must be, somewhat.”)

What this means is that when it comes to thinking, there are two elements: You, the thinker and the thoughts you are thinking about. Let’s contrast that with another state of being, in which this separation doesn’t occur.

Do you ever remember a time when you were feeling so fantastic that you were inextricably bound up in the moment that you were part of what was happening? A blissful experience perhaps? Maybe you were so wrapped up in a movie or a book that you didn’t notice what is going on around you? Think about great experiences where you felt completely at one with what you were experiencing. A dream holiday. Being deeply in love. The most delicious meal you have ever eaten. Reaching level 25. We didn’t need to think about what was happening. We were there, in the zone. We were on fire. We were one with it. This is what some psychologists call “flow”. And children are great at this, aren’t they?

But us clever adults have brains and we learned to use them. So the instant we start thinking about an experience, we separate ourselves from that experience. We become the thinker AND the thing we are thinking about: a separate but connected unity.

That’s not a problem. Not until the thoughts start taking control. And when we can’t stop the thoughts buzzing around our head, we feel disconnected, disoriented, even dizzy. But when we try to stop thinking by thinking about stopping thinking, we keep worrying that we can’t stop thinking. And then we keep worrying about the worry that is worrying us. And we keep overthinking because we believe (wrongly) that if we think hard enough about something we will find the solution to what is worrying us.

At this point we have two choices. One is to keep doing what we have always done, in which case we get what we always got – a mind that won’t stop. Or we can do something different, and stop thinking.

We could go out for a walk on a windy day and wave our arms around to stop the wind blowing. Except that isn’t going to work. However, the wind will eventually die down of its own accord, whether or not you do anything.

The mind is a funny thing, but if you stop using it, it quietens down. So let it.

How many times have you seen people advise DISTRACTIONS? That’s good advice.

Go out for a walk and smell the flowers. Listen to the birds and just watch the clouds. Get into relaxed mode! Switch your phone off! Stop reading Facebook posts from people panicking or pretending their lives are awesome — unless you really do want to see a photo of their most recent meal. Do something you enjoy doing and don’t pay any attention to an inner demon telling you otherwise. NOT thinking is crucial. We don’t say we need to feel our feelings, so why do we need to keep thinking thoughts? Let go and you soon find you regain the control you lost.

Getting distracted is a great way to stop ruminating. And you will find that distractions do quieten down a galloping mind.

You may find it’s a temporary fix, and ruminators often do continue to overthink. That’s when you should take a close look at the Thrive Programme. When you have developed insights into your thinking style, and how your mind and your emotions link together, you will be in a much better position to control your thoughts — rather then letting your mind control you.

One common phobia is also one of the least-well known

Although it’s the 5th most common phobia, few people have heard of emetophobia. It really is one of the most debilitating of all phobias and is also prone to being hidden because of embarrassment.

Emetophobia is a deep-seated fear of vomiting and nausea, either directly in themselves, and/or in others. Although it’s one of the most widespread of all phobias, only those afflicted by it tend to know the name. It’s a massively debilitating condition because of the way it impacts the sufferer’s life. It afflicts people of all ages, adults and children, men and women. Often, the greatest stress is caused by the emetophobe going to great lengths to avoid any situation involving vomiting. This may include extreme levels of personal hygiene normally associated with OCD.

The effect of emetophobia is to close down many aspects of normal living. The sufferers put up a number of “walls” to ‘protect’ themselves, and in so doing they put limitations on the way the live. They restrict themselves in many ways and, ironically, in attempting to control their lives, they actually lose control of their lives. Normal thinking gives way to anxiety and stress.

The fear is extremely strong. It’s not unlike a panic attack in the cyclic nature of events. First there is a trigger, which plants a thought in the mind. Maybe there are perceptions about a lack of hygiene (which is why emetophobes rarely eat out); people they know may be ill and undergoing treatments like chemotherapy (vomiting is inevitable), or perhaps someone is depicted being sick in a movie or TV programme.

Once the thought about vomiting has occurred, the sufferers will anticipate a range of feelings of the deepest intensity: they will search for the nearest toilet if they are out of the home, they will be acutely sensitive about how their stomach or throat feels. They will be anticipating imminent vomiting, and will feel panicky.

And because this cycle has been experienced so many times before, the emetophobe will take steps to ‘protect’ themselves. They may eat little, and be absent from work because they feel uncomfortable anywhere except at home, where the ‘sanctuary’ of a spotless bathroom awaits. They take massive steps to avoid any and all situations in which the phobia might be triggered. They carry around plastic bags; they perpetually search out the nearest lavatory; they are constantly aware of people eating, of restaurants, of advertisement for food; and because food and drink are often central to socialising, this means they don’t socialise; so they become introverted and even isolated. Emetophobia makes them a virtual prisoner in an unclean world.

The good news is that, like all phobias, emetophobia can be eradicated quite quickly.  The fear is not the reality: it just seems very real.

 

Emetophobia Overcome! Zoe cured her emetophobia:  www.emetophobia.co.uk

Jenni’s story: https://youtu.be/EicQdzvdKr4

https://youtu.be/Q2kxrVRt5E0 – Mary who is 81 had emetophobia for 75 years!

Louse’s story: https://youtu.be/k9bhjetXlos

If you or someone you know is being held back by this distressing condition, please do get in touch. A lifetime’s extreme fear can be eradicated so easily.

 

Emetophobia Overcome! Zoe cured of emetophobia with The Thrive Programme www.emetophobia.co.uk

Jenni’s story: https://youtu.be/EicQdzvdKr4

https://youtu.be/Q2kxrVRt5E0 – Mary who is 81 had emetophobia for 75 years!

Louse’s story: https://youtu.be/k9bhjetXlos

If you, or someone you know is being held back by this distressing condition, please do get in touch. A lifetime’s extreme fear can be eradicated so easily.