Life can be so confusing.
Those living happy lives invariably have clarity.
They’re clear on what life is generally all about, and they’re also clear how they fit in. They’re not perfectionists — getting 80% is pretty good for most assessments. But they have a good idea.
OK — that’s them — we all know there are people happy with their lot in life. But that may not be you. You may well want to be like that, or more like that. Maybe 60% certainty is a good interim aim for you. Especially if you’re not even 20% sure about life and how to get the best out of it.
Or perhaps even that is optimistic: maybe you’re someone who, when asked to score the quality of your life from 1-10, would say…. “ -1”.
But even though the score is low, you’re not stupid. You’re not going to change from -1 to 8/10 overnight. But you do know one thing. You’re not happy with your current score! So how can things improve? It’s not as though you haven’t tried. You know you tried so many times to get fit, lose weight, manage personal finances better, find a loving relationship — and everything just fell apart.
Which, if you think about it, is good — because if you are honest — you may not know how to get a great life — but you do know what didn’t work before! So why not use that?
You know you want change. And if change is to bring about a better quality of life, it has to be a change that lasts. Everyone who wants to lose weight can lose weight. Keeping it off is the key. Anyone who wants to be more secure financially can save some money. But can they do that consistently?
So how to proceed?
One of the best ways to start to bring about a change for the better is to start by asking a question.
If you’re not happy with your life, why is that? If you lost something or someone, what do you take from that? If you’re overwhelmed, what can you do to get clarity? If you are fearful, how can you stop the fear paralysing you?
Once you start asking questions, you start to get answers.
But here’s the thing.
If the question is not a great question, the answer won’t be all that good. For example…
“Why can’t I lose weight??” might elicit the answer:
“Because you’re a slob who eats junk food”
It’s not a great answer, but it’s an ANSWER. It’s a starting point.
You want to improve the quality of your life. Well, why not begin by trying to get a better quality question.
Instead of “Why am I always so overweight?” why not ask “how could I lose weight AND enjoy the process??”
Ask a better question, and what happens? You get a better answer!
And, with a better answer, does that show you a path you could follow.
Questions produce clarity.
So ask a question. But if you don’t like the answer, aim for a better question.
Of course, it takes practice.
But so does the quality of life
What’s the question you could ask….?